You know that phrase, "A person who wears many hats"? Honestly I've never been one for that saying, but today I touched on this topic for a minute during my @pretty.city IG LIVE story. I was explaining about all of the things that I have done last week alone and I was listening to myself speak and really it is fascinating to me. It's not that I think I am particularly fascinating or anything, but people in general are. How can we be so many things to so many people? How do we differentiate ourselves in who we "are" at any given moment?
I know for myself, I thrive on chaos, excitement, drama, and the need to make sure that everyone that I surround myself with is taken care of. I also hate saying "No" to new projects and challenges, therefore I constantly add more things to my plate. To be honest, I really enjoy being helpful and I really love being different things to different people, it keeps life exciting and it keeps my brain flowing. It's kind of like those people at the circus or street performers with the plates and they keep adding more and more plates to their balancing act. That's how I feel. There are two points to this: First, I am constantly adding more skills and more responsibilities, to my daily life, and I know it seems crazy, but I enjoy it and the rewards are great too. The second, though, is really what I am talking about here, and that is about the compartmentalizing of different things.
When people wear different "hats", we sometimes have to carefully become different things for different people, all the while remaining ourselves at the core of it all. This can be hard and it can also cause a bit of an identity crisis. When I am with my kids, of course, I know that I am "Mommy", I am the one who takes care of everything: I cook, I bake, I do laundry, I clean (well sometimes), I kiss boo boos, I snuggle, I mediate fights, I craft, I knit, I fix things, I think you get the gist. To be a mom alone, you have to naturally wear many hats and be able to handle many different tasks, but with other people and scenarios it's slightly different. Maybe not everyone is like this, though, maybe other people do not transform depending on who they are with. I think that I am like a chameleon, I can transform into whatever someone or some task needs me to be. I love considering myself to be like a "Jack of all Trades, Master of None", or a "Jen of all Trades, Master of All" if you will. I can't even write a list here of all the things I do, or the jobs that I have, or things that I have taught myself to do, it's honestly so very long, and I'm not bragging by any means at all. It's just that I love to learn new skills, and accomplish new things, all the time.....and I'm not happy unless I have a new challenge in my life. I have always been like this though, even way before I was a mom, before I had no choice of learning the balancing act, I was already doing it. You know how like in spy movies, the character can change identities with a wig, or facial hair or something? That's like me, but with no costume changes. Today, I am a blogger, (a wannabe) photographer, a website designer/manager, a mom, a driver, and so many other things, and then tomorrow I could have a whole other agenda going on. When it comes to different people though and different friends, I can be and act so drastically different depending on who I am with. I have so many different compartments of friendships and family and I really like to be personable with everyone, It is important to me to remember as many details of every conversation and I do my best, I honestly can hold my own. Of course, though, then there is that one time when you make a mistake and BOOM that friend gets really hurt that you didn't remember a detail.
The hardest part of all of this though, is knowing when and how to take off all of those hats. You need to get to know who the "real" you is and to do what actually makes you, yourself happy....not just the things that are pleasing to others. I personally think that's where the problems lie. Sometimes you get caught up in what everyone else's needs are for so long and wearing all these different hats, that you can't remember the things that you like for yourself. Sometimes, you can't even remember who you are at all. It is important to always remain you for yourself, if not for other people and to remember who that "core" person is. For me it's #justjen , I am rediscovering myself for myself everyday recently. It honestly is fun getting to know me again, and I'm enjoying the journey even if I don't know where it is going yet.