Emotionally Raw
Every culture and of course every individual has their own way of looking at emotions. On a personal level, this is fine, but what makes this challenging is when different people with different ideals form friendships and relationships. Just like in a sense of traditions, you have to weave these methods and personal styles together to mutually respect and understand each other in a compromised manner. It's only natural that each individual has their own ways of expressing their feelings or emotions. For instance, there are the people who remain completely closed off who will probably never share their feelings or emotions in fear that it will make them seem too weak or vulnerable; then there are some people who choose to bottle up their emotions, and then let them all out at once (usually once a tipping point occurs); there are some who are never 100% true to how they feel, sharing only some things here and there; then, of course, there are the ones expressing all of their emotions, always wearing their heart on their sleeve...very raw and unfiltered.
As you may have guessed, I am the raw emotion girl. No matter what the circumstance, there is one thing that is true, I am very open and honest about my feelings. I am finally at a point in my life where I feel comfortable telling someone how I feel about something. This has definitely come from maturing emotionally over the last decade. If I am angry, you're going to know, if I am sad, ha ha you will definitely know, and the same goes for being happy and excited about something. I am not afraid anymore to tell people I love them (friends, family, etc.) , and I don't care how vulnerable it makes me. Unfortunately, when asked, I am not afraid to share when I am displeased either (not that I am going to go out of my way to say something bad though).
I have changed so much in the last few years. I used to find myself saying the "right" things to people just to make them happy. I used to hold in any anger or frustration that I may have had and bottle it up until I couldn't contain myself, and then explode (never a good idea). As far as expressing love, I never really had the confidence in me to share an "I love you" with even friends, in fear that they would not reciprocate. At this point in my life though, I do not hold back. I think it's healthier this way. I share how I feel all the time....The good, the bad, and the ugly (sometimes). Do I sometimes feel bad about the way I express things? I sure do, but at least I know I am not pretending to be a certain way anymore just to prevent myself from being exposed. It is so much less stressful than keeping everything to myself.
Sometimes I share too much, sometimes it's things people feel uncomfortable hearing (good and bad), but I think it is good for people to know exactly where they stand with you and know exactly how you feel about them. I was always such a shy and timid person when it came to feelings, which is very hard to do being a "highly sensitive person" like myself. Having to work to mask my feelings and cover myself up was very hard for a person like me. Highly sensitive people tend to feel things more intensely than the average person. Given that, it also makes us very self conscious and empathetic as well. So, for me, it is also very refreshing when other people are open and honest about their feelings with me. Knowing exactly what they are thinking and feeling is much less stressful than not. Otherwise, I am always in my head thinking up the worse case scenario, making sure I said the right thing at the right time. This includes but is not limited to: replaying conversations in my head, re-reading the last 100 text messages, trying to remember what their facial expressions looked like when talking in our last conversation, or even hoping that they understood my sarcasm or that something was a joke. When people don't share their feelings (good or bad), it leaves me alone with my thoughts and visions of how I think they perceive me (believe me, that's never good), and then it makes me jump to crazy conclusions (Sometimes this can be really funny and entertaining, don't get me wrong, but most of the time it is annoying, especially for the other people involved). A funny example of one way this happens is when you are texting with someone, and then the other person stops responding out of nowhere, that always makes me jump to a million conclusions (ha ha).
I know there are many people out there that feel the same way. My question to the people that are not as sensitive and who are maybe not as open with their feelings, do you appreciate people who are open and honest? Or does it make you uncomfortable when those individuals feel the need to share how they feel with you?
