So here I am today, taking this morning to fill out Taya's Kindergarten application. The thing is, I only picked it up from the school yesterday and it is due no later than first thing tomorrow morning (side note: I've had since October to do this). Since I waited so long to even pick up the form and take it home, all they had left were Spanish and Chinese ones. So, Spanish it is, I mean I do understand most of it, and hey...this is not my first Kindergarten application to fill out (Can you believe this is my 4th one in 5 years???). So, ah yes...one of the many perks of procrastination: always getting what's leftover.
Procrastination has always been my number one weakness. ALWAYS.. For as long as I can remember, I have always procrastinated. It's funny, because now as a mother to five kids, most people are nice and use that as my excuse as to why I don't get things done until the last minute. Anytime there is a deadline for something at one of the schools, I am there turning it in at the very last moment. I will always say, "I'm so sorry I waited to the last second" and people always say, "Oh it's okay, we know you are so busy and you have a lot on your plate." I never agree though, I always downplay my responsibilities and just explain that I am a procrastinator. It's mainly because I know that I have always been this way. Using my kids and responsibilities as an excuse would be easy, for sure, but I know the truth and I don't like people making excuses for me being negligent of time and schedules. Honestly, it's not like I actually like being this way, I just can't ever seem to not be this way.
I know quite a few other people like this as well, and we all have very similar qualities. Most of the other extreme procrastinators that I know are like me. We all say things like: "I work best under pressure", "I thrive in chaos" (one of my favorite lines), and "I do my best work in these scenarios". I still can't figure if there is actually truth to that or if they are just excuses. I think mostly they are excuses, but part of me does agree with the working best under pressure. When I do things last minute or on a whim, my ideas and thoughts just seem to flow so much better, I guess mainly because they have to. I remember that as a child, all of my school projects were almost always done the night before, after having a month or so to complete the assignment. I would always wait and pull an "all-nighter" to get them done at the last minute. I'll never forget in 8th grade every student had to complete this epic, approx. 100 page, 6 month long, economics paper for our Social Studies class. Most students worked diligently over the 6 month period, researching, taking notes, and writing little by little. Not I, though, nope, I did mine in 3 days. I wrote a 95 page economics paper in 3 days and still managed to score an "A" . I think that was one of my proudest procrastination moments, In my chaotic process though, it made my mother crazy I remember, and to be honest I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull it off. I could go on and on with the procrastination stories, but there are too many of them to narrow down.
I know I will never change being a procrastinator, and I have learned to embrace it. Honestly, I think it is something that we are just born with and is possibly genetic. I feel like most people who are like me in these similar stories and scenarios I hear and see are all kind of like mad scientists in a way. To other people who need to carefully take their time for things, who worry and turn in things way before their deadlines, we seem crazy and it gives them anxiety just thinking about people like us. The interesting thing is, though, is that I can keep lists of hundreds of things that need my attention or need to get done in my head, and I will never forget about any of the items. Everything almost always does get done or turned in exactly when it is supposed to. I think that I have just accepted that this is how I work, this is how my process works, and if it stresses other people out, so what, this is what works for me. Procrastination always has been and always will be my Kryptonite. So, let me leave you with this, do you think procrastination is a form of laziness or genius?