I wore this shirt today. It is floral. I think it is cute. You, however, might not. Guess what? I don't really care. I am wearing leggings today because they are comfortable. If my legs and ass look too big in them and that kind of stuff bothers you...tough...look away then. You like my lip color? Thank you. I do too, that's why I am wearing it. I parted my hair down the middle yesterday instead of on the side like usual. I was trying something new. I felt like seeing something different in the mirror. I'm wearing dark brown eyeliner instead of my normal black. It is just okay though, I prefer the black. No matter how I do my make-up (or if I decide to not wear any at all) , how I dress, or how I present myself you can be rest assured it is for me. It is not for my friends, it is not for a man, it is not for anyone else. It is because this is how I was feeling and this is how I chose to express myself.
I've had a few debates recently about this topic. I find it very interesting. After I have spoken to a few guys and girls about this, nearly everyone has the same response. Most women clearly believe (and I agree) that the clothes we wear, the make-up we put on, etc. is for ourselves. Meanwhile, most of the men I discussed this with, truly believe that women wear make-up and dress a certain way to attract or to please men or partners (don't get me wrong, I know this does happen occasionally). Some of the men I debated with on this topic said they found it unbelievable that a woman would wear make-up, for instance, just for herself. To me, I don't understand how this could be so far fetched. Most of the women I know choose when and where to wear make-up. I know plenty of women who do not wear any at all and are happy being natural on a daily basis. I also know women, like myself, who won't leave the house without at least a little bit on their face. For me, it is a confidence thing. I don't feel good about myself and I feel anxiety about people looking at me without certain features covered or enhanced. Some days I don't wear much, but you can be assured that I will never leave the house without concealer on any blemishes I might have, and without my eyebrows filled in. This is because I don't like the way I look without that, I don't feel good about myself. It is not because I am trying to impress or attract anyone. I feel a certain kind of anxiety or stress about it though. I honestly believe it has a lot to do with the 'Highly Sensitive' personality trait that I had shared in a previous IG post. I have this constant feeling that people are looking and judging me, even when they're not. This anxiety I feel, is so debilitating sometimes and it prevents me from doing many things such as taking exercise classes, getting professional photos taken, etc. It also makes me very aware of criticisms placed on me. (I could go on and on about this sensitivity topic ....trust me)
The same argument holds true about clothing. Most women I know choose clothing that they, themselves like or feel comfortable in. If they choose to show off their cleavage or their legs for instance, it is generally because that is a part of their body they feel good about. It doesn't mean they are necessarily showcasing these parts to gain the attraction or approval from other people. It just means that it makes them feel good about themselves, and maybe gives them more confidence. To prove my point, look at the current fashion trends and the ones from the past that women have followed. Most men I know do not like floral patterns such as this top, it reminds them of a grandma themed wallpaper or sofa or something. I still liked it though and chose to wear it. As a matter of fact, big floral prints are huge this year. A few others I can think of that women have followed in the past that men generally didn't care for are: short hair, turtlenecks, baggy jeans, big hats, lipstick, over sized blouses buttoned up to the top to name a few. Clearly, many of these were not known for their sex appeal.
I asked the men I debated with about some of the clothing choices that they made and if they were choosing the items for themselves or were they to attract women? Funny enough...most of their responses were the same as the women. So I said, "If you are wearing something just because you feel more comfortable in it for yourself, why is it so hard to believe that a woman would do the same?" No one seemed to have an answer for me. I found the whole discussion quite interesting. I mean I am not an ultra feminist or anything, but I do know that what I wear and how I dress is just for me and I do believe that most men and women feel the same way. As humans, we do what makes us feel good about ourselves. We want to feel the best that we can and sometimes that means dressing a certain way or wearing specific things to bring out our inner confidence.